Boot Camp & The “Nasty Nine”, Hypothetical Rock Bands, Podcast Musings, and…I Dunno…Stuff

Hey folks,

For those of you who don’t know, I was in the military. I enlisted after dropping out of college to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. The conversation at the recruiters office looked like this:

“Hi, welcome to–“

“Hey, I’m already sold. What’s the soonest I can leave?”

“First take this aptitude test.”

(A week or so later…)

“Your test said you should be a nuclear tech or a journalist.”

“Cool. When do I leave?”

“About a year for either.”

“Oh. Uh…I want to leave as soon as possible.”

[Recruiter typing on the computer, looking, looking…]

“Airplane mechanic. Leaves for boot camp in 4 weeks.”

“Done.”

Then I went and told my family and friends what I just did.

(Fast forward to boot camp.)

There was a dude named Jones who bunked near me. He was from Alabama, and loved to talk sports and music. I couldn’t help but jump in one time, and we quickly became friends. Then Jones was put in charge of the daily bathroom cleaning, and was told he could choose 8 people to help him. He chose me–and seven other guys–to be, what they called in boot camp, the “Nasty Nine”.

You might be thinking, Wow, cool friend–making you clean the shitters…

It was actually a sweet job. Everyone else was cleaning the larger main area, which was harder: you had to move lots of stuff and the drill instructors (we called them RDCs) were constantly in your face yelling at you. You got to clean the bathroom in peace, with people you liked and trusted to do a good job. We cleaned the bathroom in 10-15 minutes, then sat around, until everyone else was done cleaning the main area, and had conversations like this:

Who Would Be in Your All-Time Music Super Group?

We would break it into categories sometimes, or just go for something eclectic. So here are some of my all-time groups by category. Comment with your own groups, or to make fun of mine!

Metal

  • Vocals: James Hetfield (Metallica), Alfonso Civile (Heartsick–he was on my show!)
  • Guitar: Randy Rhodes (Ozzy), Dimebag Darrell
  • Bass: Lemmy (Motorhead)
  • Drums: The Rev (Avenged Sevenfold)

Rock

  • Vocals: Freddie Mercury (Queen), John Popper (Blues Traveler)
  • Guitar: The Edge (U2), Jimi Hendrix
  • Bass: Geddy Lee (Rush)
  • Drums: Travis Barker (The Aquabats, Blink-182)

Jazz

  • Piano: Thelonious Monk
  • Bass: Vic Wooten
  • Trumpet: Roy Hargrove
  • Drums: Dave King (The Bad Plus)

Blues

  • Vocals: BB King
  • Guitar: Buddy Guy, David Gilmour (Pink Floyd)
  • Bass: John Paul Jones (Led Zepplin)
  • Drums: Mitch Mitchell (Jimi Hendrix Experience)

Reggae

  • Vocals: Alpha Blondy
  • Guitar: Peter Tosh (The Wailers)
  • Bass: Delroy “Pele” Hamilton (Raging Fyah)
  • Drums: Stewart Copeland (The Police)

Hip Hop

  • Vocals: Q-tip (A Tribe Called Quest), Snoop, Big Boi (Outkast)
  • Bass/Guitar: Miles Doughty and Kyle McDonald (Slightly Stoopid)
  • Drums: Ahmir Khalib Thompson–aka ?uestlove (The Roots)

Multi-Instrumentalists

  • Prince
  • Stevie Wonder
  • Paul McCartney
  • Dave Grohl
  • Beck
  • Curtis Mayfield
  • David Bowie
  • Trent Reznor
  • Frank Zappa
  • Me (the intro song on my podcast–that’s just me)

Speaking of my podcast…

I haven’t done a ton of episodes yet, so each one is a learning experience. I had notes for one interview on my computer, but it wasn’t working so I had to wing it. Now I write them down on paper. I didn’t follow up with one of my guests the day before, so when it was time to record, they were still asleep. One time I started recording but didn’t tell my guest, so they kind of figured it out a few minutes in. All part of the learning curve I suppose. But I’m really enjoying talking creativity with such cool people.

Got the next few episodes planned out. In the meantime, check out the available episodes:

Ep.89 | Mallory Shotwell – Founder and Director of CULTIVATE on local art, community, ”making it”, & marketing Creative Ops

As a former Montessori teacher, Mallory Shotwell's interest in art and business make her a great person to start a group like CULTIVATE, a collection of artists, teachers, and industry folks. With the acquisition of their new space in Grand Rapids, Michigan, they'll be able to highlight contemporary artists and teach community-based art & business classes, while also serving as a "traditional" art gallery for art shows and installations. Get the HOLIDAY GUIDE: http://www.cultivategrandrapids.org/2022-local-artist-holiday-guide Keep an eye on the CULTIVATE Facebook and Instagram pages for events and fun info! Learn all about CULTIVATE at their website: http://www.cultivategrandrapids.org. And check Mallory out at http://www.malloryshotwell.com and on Instagram via @mallory.shotwell
  1. Ep.89 | Mallory Shotwell – Founder and Director of CULTIVATE on local art, community, ”making it”, & marketing
  2. Ep.88 | The End of Creative Ops(?) – w/ commentary by his holiness, Kirk Ross
  3. Ep.87 | Brennen Matthews – Author of ”Miles to Go: An African Family in Search of America Along Route 66”
  4. Ep.86 | Josh Adams is funny as f–k!
  5. Ep.85 | Andrea Shaner – How to Be on TV!

What else?

Oh. If you’re wondering why I don’t write more lately–I’m working on a new book, sprucing up the old one, watching these dang kids, and…

I write blogs “professionally” now.

Seriously? Yep.

Check out the blogs on Threads Podcast: Life Unfiltered. I wrote most of em. Check out the podcast, too. It’s a good listen.

That’s it. I’m out.

-CT

Christopher Tallon writes, podcasts, and has a collection of old gaming systems.

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