Short Bio. Facts. “Interesting” Life Stories.

Christopher Tallon lives in west Michigan, enjoys writing, playing guitar, and backpacking.

If, for whatever reason, you’re like:

Hmm, I wonder what this dude’s deal really is

This next bit’s for you, ya weirdo.

Fun Facts!

  • My right leg is shorter than my left.
  • I can cross one eye at a time.
  • Not trying to brag or anything, but my high school GPA was 2.01, so…
  • I ran a half marathon and completed two triathlons. (Not back-to-back-to-back.)
  • My favorite number is 5. No contest.
  • I’ve gone 5 days without anything but water. Twice.
  • I use hemp milk in my coffee.
  • I’m bald now, but once upon a time I had a glorious white-boy fro. Now I grow my hair on the bottom of my head.
  • I have 4 kids. Most of them are pretty cool, and I love all of them more than anything. (That isn’t food.)

True Story, Bro…

  • I met my wife when we were both 13, and immediately told all my friends and family that I was going to marry her someday. And 2 years later, I did.
    • Of course I’m kidding! We got married over a decade later. Geez, you’re gullible.
  • I snuck backstage and hung out with George Clinton and John Popper once.
  • My dad took me to a PGA event in Lansing, MI when I was a kid. A pro walked up to me outta nowhere after he finished the hole and gave me his ball. I almost shat myself.
  • My cousins and I once spotted and followed Conan O’Brien for two blocks in NYC. He noticed and started run-walking away from us. (Sorry for freaking you out, Conan.)
  • I caught a guitar pick thrown by Buddy Guy at one of his concerts. A couple years later, I saw him at a bar in Chicago and bought him a beer. Super nice guy. Someone walked up to him while we were talking, shoved their phone in his face and took a picture. He stopped talking to me and smiled for the person. But as soon as the phone did the shutter-snap noise, he said, “Excuse me. Next time you want to take someone’s picture, just ask first. OK? Have a good one.” Then we finished our little chat and I left him alone to drink his–I’ve never seen this before, but I tried it and it was pretty good–beer filled to the tippy-top of the brim with ice.
  • I snuck into the musicians-only tent at a festival once. Made friends with one of the security guys at the entrance, and spent a decent part of the weekend hanging out with a bunch of awesome musicians.
  • I bumped into someone I know at the grocery store one day. They asked me what I was up to. I said writing a book. They were like, I didn’t know you were a writer. I was like, Yeah, I guess. They were like, I’m having lunch with [a best-selling author who I’ve read a bunch] next week. You want to come? So I went and got to ask one of my favorite authors a bunch of questions about how to write a novel, started my novel over again, and now it’s finished and I’m trying to figure out how to get it into the hands of eager readers. Weird, right? Sometimes cool shit happens for, like, no reason whatsoever.

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