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As Seen on TV: ME!
Christopher Tallon is TV famous!
My original plan was…
They were all, “That’s great, Chris!”
And I was all, “Yeah–I’m gonna say f–k first thing when I get introduced and see what happens. Maybe it’ll go viral…”
“Please don’t do that…”
JK, bruh. JK…
I wasn’t going to. But I couldn’t help see the reaction on my friend Andrea’s face. Thanks for that, Andrea. Your shock and disapproval was a perversely fun way to start my morning. (My wife calls that my cruel-and-unusual-sense-of-humor.)
But I had no intention of swearing. As a matter of fact, I was actually pleasantly surprised how smoothly I was able to talk. I’ll tell you this though:
They told me more than once, “Don’t look anywhere but at the host while you’re talking.”
But there was so much shiny, moving sh*t in that studio. It was impossible not to look away from the host. I tried so hard, but…
Blame it on my ADD, baby. Seriously though, I had a very difficult time not looking at the cameras, monitors, prompters, timers, clocks…
Watch this. I dare ya. There–it’s officially a dare…
Distractions aside, I was able to mostly pull it off. Check this out:
Thanks to Everyone at Fox 17’s Morning Mix
Andrea Shaner, the executive producer, was so nice and took a few shots of me on the couch with Michelle Dunaway. Michelle was also incredibly nice and professional. She definitely put me at ease while we were talking. Thanks to Brooks…didn’t catch his last name…who was working behind the scenes and grabbed a copy. You folks were all wonderful.
This is where I leave you. I think I’m going to have a snack, watch a show with my kids, and maybe take a nap. Ya know. Livin the dream, baby.
Christopher Tallon is the author of the dark, adventurous, time-travel novel Switchers.
It’s a rare condition / This day and age / To read any good news / On the newspaper page
Love and tradition / Of the grand design / Some people say / That’s even harder to find