In case you didn’t know, I’m a stay at home dad. It was weird at first, but I’m four years in, and one year away from having all my kids in school full-time, and, as the saying goes, I’ve become accustomed to a certain kind of lifestyle.
(That’s code for I don’t want to go back to work.)
I’ve been slowly marketing the book I wrote, Switchers, for a little while now, trying to get a few people ready–if not (somewhat) excited–for its release. But that’s not what’s happening here. No, this is more of a complaint I have about my aforementioned lifestyle.
So, I love not shaving every morning. My wife lets me “sleep in,” which in my house means sleeping until almost 7am. I don’t have to put on a dress shirt, stick those little collar straightener things in the ends of the collars, put on those thin little socks, put on a tie (Lifehack: if you get your tie perfect, don’t untie it. Just loosen it and you can put it on and take it off the way you put your head in and out of a t-shirt.) Without a doubt, the worst part of my teacher lifestyle was the morning workday routine–waking up at 5, going over the lesson plans and visual aids, taking kids to before school care, and driving downtown to work.
Now I wake up a little before my wife leaves. Make breakfast for kids before they leave for school. Have coffee. Write. Maybe play a game of FIFA on the playstation. Mind the website, blog, social media. Hang out with my little guy. I love it.
Most of it.
The story in this section isn’t so bad by itself, but after 4 years of stuff like this, it gets old.
So I dropped my little guy off at preschool yesterday. Afterwards, I went to Costco to get some gas for my truck. The gas station attendant, a guy in his late 40s/early 50s, starts a little chit-chat.
“On your way to work?” he asked.
“Nah,” I said. “Just got done dropping kids off at school.”
“Oh, you have the day off today?”
(This bothered me because people assume a man with kids should be working. Also, as a stay at home, you never have a day off.)
I smiled and said, “I wish. No, I work from home.” Which is kind of true–parenting and writing.
“Oh, ok. That must be nice, eh?”
I smiled, agreed, and wished the guy a nice day.
But, maybe because I have what my sister calls “executive functioning issues”, I was upset by the interaction and couldn’t get the proper perspective on it. Hell, it was yesterday and here I am, still upset and complaining to the internet! But here’s my hang up: Does that guy ask women who come through at 9:30 if they’re on their way to work? Or if they have the day off? I’ve had a lot of people in the 50+ category say things to me like:
“You let your wife be the breadwinner?” “When are you going to relieve your poor wife?” “So…you don’t work? At all?” And so on.
Maybe I’m just too pissy about it because I’m still kind of insecure about being a stay at home dad and not making money for the family. I’d love to make some money with the book I wrote, so. . .stay tuned and BUY IT when it comes out, please.
And if you’re curious about the book, it’s done. I’m trying to get an agent to bite on it. Agents, hook a brother up! You can learn a little about the book on the ABOUT THE BOOK page. And if you want to be part of the final process, contact me about getting a sample, or, if you’re up to it, a full copy. I’d love some more feedback before I thrust it into the public.
Peace out homies!